Dan vs Don: AOTS, Official topic! (Updated 14/10/2011)

Vivian

Vivian

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Okay, from now on, I shalt be posting the chapters in here, on the main topic. They should hopefully be read by everybody, and I hope you guys enjoy a captivating story that's chok-full of cliffhangers of sorts, lol. I'll copypaste the chapters into word documents, where I'll put them up for download. But that's after the other chapter has finished.

CHAPTER ONE: (Link out of order/Cant be bothered right now)
CHAPTER TWO: (Link out of order/Cant be bothered right now)


NINTENDAN vs NINTENDON: ATTACK OF THE SHYGUYS CHAPTER 3 - The attacker is revealed

Deep inside the heart of the halberd, where the mass amount of shyguys had been released...Inside the bridge room...There stood a shyguy. He was diffrent than the robots. He looked exactly like NintenDan...only he was black. Lots of black, lots of grey...His mask was a silver grey, his shoes black, and the inside of his eyes? glowing faintly red. He was no robot....He was looking out of the halberd, clearly demonstrating human emotions. At that moment, a female walked in, looking alot like Dawn from pokemon, only wearing a uniform like Team rocket's, with the logo replaced by a smiling shyguy face. ''Commander Minx, eh? What do you have to report to me?'' The dark shyguy asked her. ''Well, General NintenDon sir, we've captured 5 of the leaders of this petty town.....What do you wish we do with them?'' Minx replied. ''Well...'' NintenDon got up, and walked closer to Minx. ''If they are leaders...they must be thrown into prison. Unlike other evil criminal bad-guy boss leaders, I have some compassion for other living beings.'' NintenDon finished. ''WHY SIR WHY.'' Minx had a sudden outburst. Of drama, if you will. ''THESE PEOPLE ARE SOME OF OUR SWORN ENEMIES DAMNIT! I DEMAND THEY BE CUT IN TWO AND INCINERATED!'' Exclaimed Minx, rather dramatically. ''Listen here, Minx. I am the boss here. You will do as I tell you. I will Incinerate them later. Now go, go and have your bedtime. ''YES..Yes..sir...'' Minx fell to the floor, as she always does after a drama outburst. NintenDon picked her up, and carried her to bed, where he laid her down on it. She looked so tired. She just looked so sweet. He knelt down, put his head closer to her's and - at that very moment one of the Shyguy robots came in and exclaimed: ''NINTENDON SIR! WE HAVE A SPECIAL PRISONER SIR! And just what are you doing to commander Minx?'' ''UH, Nothing. Nothing at all.'' Replied NintenDon. ''Anyways, who is this special prisoner?'' Asked Don. ''Come this way, Sir...'' Replied the Shyguy bot...

-N3DSC, SEARCHING FOR SURVIVORS..

''Crap. NO. OH NO. NOT GOOD. INCREDIBLY BAD.'' Exclaimed Y64. ''What is going on?'' Dan asked Y64. ''We're outta fuel...'' Hopefully the invasion is over....'' Replied Y64. They got out of the bus, to have a quick breather, and at that very moment, the bus they were riding in exploded with a huge thundery-like sonicboom! ''WAIT WHAT THE HELL. WHY DID THAT HAPPEN LOL.'' Exclaimed Dan. Y64 walked up to the wreck that was left, and realized what had happened. ''A cheeseburger clogged the exhaust pipe.....caused the Bus to overheat! It was you Dan, you and your throwing burgers out the window.'' Y64 replied in an angry voice. ''Sigh...We'll have to walk it back home.... Wait, who's that in the distance?'' Asked Dan. The shadowy figure walking along the highway was clearly Dev, scratched and bruised. Dan ran up to Dev as fast as he possibly could. ''DEV! YES! I was hoping you'd survived...If you didn't...'' NintenDan's voice trailed off. ''Dan, it's okay. There are more survivors back in N3DSC, the invasion has stopped for now...but the halberd is still up there, waiting.....It's night as well, we'd better get to sleep.

15 MINUTES EARLIER BEFORE THE LAST PARAGRAPH

''Here is our prisoner, sir. Name is Flandre Scarlet, a cop. Gender is Female.'' The prisoner was being kept in a cage, and looked exactly like touhou character 'Flandre Scarlet'. ''Leeeeeeeet meeeee gooooo!!! (Insert untranslatable japanese words here)'' Flandre Scarlet attempted to get out of the cage. ''Eheheheh....Activate the trapdoor.'' NintenDon ordered the Shyguy bot. ''Yes sir...'' At the push of a button, the cage with Flandre Scarlet began plummeting towards it's doom...

OLOLOL WHAT HAPPENS NEXT.
 
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Not sure...

Anyway, nicely written, as always. I got a little chuckle when the Shyguy robot asked "And just what are you doing to commander Minx?"

Very good imagery too. I image myself standing on a distant hilltop looking down on the town. Smoke billowing out of the town, the Halberd hovering menacingly above. I'd paint a picture if I had the talent to.

Now, *Rubs hand together* When do I get put into this...?
wink.gif
 
NintenDon said:
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY MY PARAGRAPHS ARE UGLY.
Click to expand...
Pretty sure it's because the formatting in Word was carried over here. Even if if looks fine in Word, the rich text editor here (from what I've seen) is a little bit iffy, where it can add unnecessary BB code tags and everything.

I fixed it up for you, but for future reference, there's a little "light switch" in the top left corner of the box. After you've done all your formatting, click on that to toggle the editing mode to "basic text editor", which means you can see all the BB code tags. Now when you copy paste your text, it won't be formatted strangely!

Also, good addition to the story! This is rather exciting, and I rofl'd at the cheeseburger scene.
 
Awesome chapter NintenDon! lol, I just found out you were writing a story yesterday,there really good can't wait for chapter four!
 
Huzzah, i got "spoilers" of what happens to me later.
Bleh, funky story. Need more. Like space.
 
oh wow unreal did i see spark of love there hehe teasing. -voice return-" will flandre ever be free from NintenDon shy robot's... is Y64 have insurance on the bus better call good neighobor ... and will are hero NintenDan recuse all his friends.. find out next time in NintenDan Vs NintenDon : attack of the shy guys"... -voice gone- if im spoiling im sorry im guess here.
 
I hope changing to Space Core for the rest of the month won't effect how you were planning the story, if you got/get that far in a month. I'm DryBones, by the way.
 
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NintenDan vs NintenDon: Attack of the Shyguys Chapter 4:
''Flan gets into the story, after whining about it to me on skype''

Flan was plummeting to her doom. The clouds zoomed past her so quietly and soothingly...the wind the only sound to accompany her during her untimely death. It was a pretty great death, If I do say so myself. Just 10 kilometres over the ground, all Flan could do was enjoy the serenity of her death. The sun came out, and her landing location was revealed: The Desert that seperated N3DSC from 3DSforums, also known as Dry Dry Desert. For what seemed like an eternity to Flan was only a mere 30 seconds...But in that same desert was Y64 and Dan...(And Dev you ass narrator! <)

''I got the Radio working, Dan!'' Y64 shouted out to Dan. After the cheeseburger incident, Y64 had salvaged the emergency radio from the Bus, and was about to contact Nin, or any survivors for that matter. ''OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OWWW!!'' Suddenly, a shriek of pain was heard from Dan. ''I WANTED TO TOUCH THAT PRETTY GREEN THING BUT IT HATES ME! OW OW OW!'' Dan cried. ''THAT'S A CACTUS, YOU DUMMY.'' Replied Y64. All Dev did was ROFL on his sleeping bag. But just as Y64 pulled the Cactus matter out of Dan's finger, a huge, thundery CRASH was heard from the vincinity of the Radio. Y64 and Dev left Dan to suffer and quickly ran to the scene of the crash. There was a cage...Flan lying motionless inside it. ''Flan! OH NO! VERY BAD!'' Shouted Dev. They both checked her for any signs of life...No pulse. She was (Get ready to scream loudly and ban me Flan xD)..
...

...

Dead.

A tear rolled down Y64's cheek. Dev had already turned as white as a ghost. Speaking of which, there was one right behind them. wait what.
It was Flan! Well, not Flan, well, not alive. But it was still Flan! ''Guys! I'm so glad to see you! I'm so glad I lived to tell the tale...'' Flan's ghost said excitedly. But that excitable attitude disappeared from her the moment she saw her own twisted, bloody corpse. ''Well Flan, at least you're alive. In a way I guess.'' Y64 said after reailizing the whole situation. ''Guys? Splinter? OUCH?'' Dan said. No-one heard him.


CHAPTER TO BE CONTINUED DUE TO UNFORTUNATE CIRCUMSTANCES, PLEASE WAIT FOR PART II OF CHAPTER IV, THEN POST MCILVXP FROM FLAN WHINING ABOUT HOW HE DIED!
 
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Heh, what the heck just happened. Still, fairly good story (though I had to reformat the paragraphs to get rid of that huge spacing... unless if you wanted that, I dunno.

EITHER WAY... good work!
 
-rub my eye from just waking up- o-o flandre is a yokai i mean ghost aww dan hurt by a cactus or was it a spike cactus hmmm -voice return- "our hero in a new land with mystery lies here and flandre a ghost from that depth of falls will dan ever get the cactus off from his finger. will y64 or dev help dan. find out next time- hehe
 
ShelkeYokai said:
-rub my eye from just waking up- o-o flandre is a yokai i mean ghost aww dan hurt by a cactus or was it a spike cactus hmmm -voice return- "our hero in a new land with mystery lies here and flandre a ghost from that depth of falls will dan ever get the cactus off from his finger. will y64 or dev help dan. find out next time- hehe
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Apart from the story, this is the best part about these topics, heh!
 
GhostDon said:
''OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OWWW!!'' Suddenly, a shriek of pain was heard from Dan. ''I WANTED TO TOUCH THAT PRETTY GREEN THING BUT IT HATES ME! OW OW OW!'' Dan cried. ''THAT'S A CACTUS, YOU DUMMY.'' Replied Y64. All Dev did was ROFL on his sleeping bag.
Click to expand...

Haha, that's my favourite bit so far. As well as the whole 'speaking of ghosts there was one behind them. wait what."

A particularly dark story filled with humour... An interesting combo and I like it!
 
Okay, I had to type this up SUPER quick, so it's gun be really short-ass like.
Dan vs Don: Chapter 4.5 ''The crappiest chapter of them all''
''OWW. IT HURTS. BANDAGE MORE CAREFULLY YOU ASS.'' Dan exclaimed angrily. Y64 was busy putting a small bandaid on Dan's swollen finger, and was growing quite annoyed at Dan's constant badgering. ''FINE. I'll bandage super-carefully.'' Replied Y64. ''OWW!! TOO CAREFUL. BE MORE ROUGH YOU ASS.'' Whinged Dan. Y64 just pulled even tighter, just to annoy him. ''There! All done! Not a splinter in sight...'' Y64 said, with an evil look to accompany his face.

-----UNDER CONSTRUCTION-----
 
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