Parenting Is A Dying Art

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Shadow Cypher

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What is wrong with parents these days?

I'm going to give this to you nicely, YOU GUYS SUCK!!!!! (Except the ones with the cajones to administer corporal punishment.)

You think you can just..."negotiate" with your kids? You think you can only "talk it out" with them?

You think spanking them is "abusive"?(It's not, I know abuse, that's not it!)

Spanking isn't abusive, talking it out has a high chance of failure, and you're mostly pushovers, who, when your kid isn't doing good in school wants to:

1)call into question the teacher's, the person with the MASTER'S DEGREE's methods
2) instantly tag on some bull s*** "mental disorder" like ADD or Aspburger's
3)file a lawsuit
4)cry, whine, and complain to the administrators
or
5)any combination of the above

Maybe your kid is just a moron?

Think of that?

Just a possibility, you know like in math, the class 'lil Jamie is failing.

Oh, yes, but back to the spanking issue, IT IS NOT ABUSE, it's teaching your child a lesson, a clean dividing line of right and wrong.

They need to know these things, I mean I work at a middle school and I see so many badly behaved little snots that I have to resist the urge to do something that would add:
Assault On A Minor and Attempted Murder on to my record, and I don't need that.

Jeez, people punish your kids.

-Shadow-
 
oh god don't get me started on guidance consulars! but yeah I see a lot of misbehave kids and let me tell you if I have a kid I will talk to him but he/she don't get it you bet I will spank him/her until he/she gets it. talk is cheap and will only fuel things into something greater! Which is why there will always be fights and wars in this world but that's another rant topic for another time. but a lot of parents are ignorant today and I fear the future with many of these kids.
 
Wow...

Anyway, I agree for the most part. I am one to question my son's teachers though when they do something. (Like keeping him sitting right next to the kid that he was just arguing with or something on those lines.)

My son has some behavior issues and his punishment depends on what happened. His teacher sends home a communication book with check marks in it. Green means he had a great day, blue means he did something wrong but stopped the wrong behavior once corrected by the teacher and loss of 5 minutes of recess, orange means he did something wrong and continued after being warned a first time but stopped with the second warning and a loss of 10 minutes of recess, and red means the behavior continued after multiple warnings and a complete loss of recess as well as a parent teacher conference. I love this method.

Anyway, back to my son's punishment...

If he has a green check mark, obviously no punishment. If he has anything else, he goes on "full punishment" which is no toys, no cartoons, no video games, no movies, no treats (like getting a toy if we go to the store), and no snacks. He can regain one item at a time with each green check mark, but if he gets another non-green check mark, he losses everything again and starts all over. If, when little league starts up, he has more than 25% non-green check marks, he will not be playing little league in the spring. (So far, he's had one blue, two orange, and the rest were green.)

If he does something beyond the check marks (like getting into a fist fight (which he has done once)), he gets told that he is going to have his butt busted, but first he has to stand in the corner for 20 minutes and think about the up coming busted butt and what he did, he then gets his butt busted (bare) and has to immediately go back in the corner for 20 more minutes to think about it. I have only done this once (his fist fight) and it was harder for me than it was for him (I cried). I honestly don't like hitting him and I would prefer not to (thus the above punishment system). I understand that sometimes you have to and he knows that every time he hits someone else, I am going to bust his butt.

I always talk to him about his behavior to make sure he understands why he is being punished, otherwise it is a waste and he won't make the correlation.

He can be very hyper-active, but I wouldn't ever try to get him diagnosed as ADD. I think it's just that he is bored. When he does his homework, he has it done in mere minutes. So I can only imagine what school is like if there are kids that take longer to do their work (no wonder he is talkative). Either way though, he has to learn to respect the rules or it will be a long, dull year.
 
tch! useless method I have seen so far. but it seems to work for your proposes. but I generally don't fight on school grounds I take my fights off school grounds. I do like your punishments for your son, very effective.
 
I'm a child living with his parents and I agree. I am the best behaved in my family, but still... Most of them also really do have mental problems that aren't their fault. I.e. my adopted brother's parents did drugs and my foster sister's mother caused som many problems (she isolated her, scarred her and shoved a bottle of sugar water in her mouth when she cried). I can see the repercussions in her to this day, but she is generally well behaved and seems to be improving.

I can go on and on about how my mother needs to be more strict, but, in her defense, its hard for her. My dad doesn't live with us and she has to work until 5 and she gets home at like 6:30-7:00. There is only me to watch my youngest brother and a baby sitter who has broken english.

I think the check mark idea is great, but is it too strict to take everything away when he corrects his behavior the first time? I'm only 15 so don't take my opinion too seriously.
 
Heh man i love everyone who talks this, they talk tough but in reality they don't do sh** to stop it! They just complain and whine to everyone else about kids and there parents. If you want to punish them then talk them to fucking prison instead of taking everything away, everything they want to do, its the same thing as a prison just with out the anal rape. My parents were never that harsh, yeah i didn't do anything bad cause they didn't take anything away from me or piss me off to do dumb sh**. I have major anger issues but i never did anything when people don't do anything to make me angry. For example, somedays i would beat the sh** out of a couple of kids for talking bad about me, and what my parents do, the talked to me, they never taken anything away from me that would make me more mad, never taken me out of football or don't put me in, they wanted me to get out and about and do stuff with people, not locked in my cell (room) and never get to come out. They said i would just go to jail and you know what it would really feel like without anything, which did happen since a teacher called me a stupid retard so i headbutted him and knocked him out and the police officer came and taken me to jail, and i never beat anyone ever again. See just take them to jail and it will teach them a lesson, so please stop whining on a forum about bad parenting and do something about it!...to the person who posted this.
 
hey, for one thing, and Im being nice, I never said I didnt swear... but I dont think we sensor the "f word"
, so Ill fix it
 
yeah, its getting bad... it pisses me off that people in jail are living better than people outside...
 
I'd prefer to discipline my son while he's young so he doesn't end up going to jail (that's me personally though).


It may be strict to take everything away from him with the first bad check, but it does have more of an impact than just losing one thing. If he came home and I said, "well no cartoons for you" he would just play with his toys instead and be fine. By taking away everything at once and slowly making him earn each individual thing back, he gets more of an impact from his behavior.

Is it right or wrong? Who knows. I won't know for quite a few more years to see how he grows up. Unfortunately there isn't any one thing parents can do that is guarenteed to work. Every child is different and responds to different things. I think the key is to start when they are young. If you wait to long, it's much harder to turn it around.

And as far as prison is concerned...if it was so absolutely horrible, we wouldn't have as many repeat offenders in our prison system.
 
I was the bad kid that almost never got caught.


The only time I got caught was when I got into a fight my freshman year of high school. Other than that, my mom didn't find out about all the bad stuff I did until after I moved out.
 
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