You're wanted by the FBI.

I will fill my home full of locked metal boxes which are full of garbage, empty notebooks, and junk mail.
 
I would leave behind a bunch a little metal boxes, however, I'd leave them empty and I would bury them all over the yard.
 
I guess a smartphone with all my email accounts in one spot? But then have some really nasty stuff on Twitter to leave them as well.
 
Throw in a bee hive in the house and lock the door, then run away lol. A lot of them are getting stung.
 
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