This is Space Core.
...I'm sorry. I was a stupid, dumb kid that said a lot of stupid, dumb things. I have no idea what went through my mind then that caused me to say all that crap, but I severely regret it, because now I'm more than aware that my entire early life was terrible. I was just an ass to everybody I met and I was an ass about everything I was told...especially to Yoshian.
I'm so sorry you had to put up with me, and I'm so sorry about everything hateful I said. I don't hold anything against you and I don't want to hold anything against anybody anymore, because I feel awful. Not only because of what I did, but because only last year did I learn that I was diagnosed with Asperger's too...small world, isn't it?
It's good to see you're still around, and I hope that you can forgive me.
As for how I got back here, I, uh...decided to dig around on old forums I used to go to, and I found this place, as well as a different forum elsewhere. I wanted to make accounts on both of them to apologize for my severe stupidity, and...here I am. Years later, and I'm now a little bit of a miserable wreck because I've finally realized that I'm a human being with flaws, and said flaws can't exactly be solved.
Since my cruddy early life...I've been trying to get into a couple of things. Art and music-making, to be exact. But not even a couple of months ago, basically all of my media websites were outed on 4chan, and I amassed an enormous amount of trolls that stressed me out, and, for the first time in my life, caused me to feel an emotion of absolute helplessness.
Tons of spam comments on my Youtube, people sharing MLP vore/hentai on Tumblr tagged with my handle to flood my inbox. I eventually deleted my Youtube, left my old Tumblr and Soundcloud all out of stress, and after I left my Tumblr with a goodbye message, I got a reply saying something along the lines of: "OH MY GOD! THERE IS A GOD! DING MOTHERFU**ING DONG THE WITCH IS DEAD! YOUR DRAWINGS LOOK LIKE SKINNY ANOREXIC ANIMALS AND YOUR MUSIC IS THE SPAWN OF SATAN!"
I just laughed. I mean, it's so harmful that it didn't even hurt at all. I also worded my post in such a way that implied I was going to kill myself, and this guy legitimately believed it. It was a moment of silent victory, because then I knew they'd be off my back from that point onwards. But even after that, it made me think, for the first time; "...what are my flaws?" So then I realized, I really am pretty bad at everything I want to be good at, and it's all because I'm just mentally stupid. This is a world I live in and share with all of you. Nobody owns it, but someone out there can embrace it better than I've been able to.
I'm sorry, again, for everything I did. I'm sorry to Yoshian for being a prick. I deserve all of this karma that I had coming to me for it all, and now, I just want people to be happy. That's my only life goal, and I'm willing to do basically anything to accomplish it, if not anything else.
With that out of the way...hi, how's it going?
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