Best Chuck Norris facts/Jokes

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

 

[Midnight Sky]

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego

 

[GAMER_NOW]

Chuck Norris has such a good poker face that he once won a poker championship while only holding a jack, a 2, and ace, a monopoly "get out of jail free" card, and a green uno 1.

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

 

[ubertrance]

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris once had sex on a tractor, some of his sperm seeped into the engine, you now know this tractor as Octimus(sp?) Prime

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toes. He accidentally destroys chairs, bedframes, and sidewalks.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris... nuff said

 

[ubertrance]

Tom Clancy has to pay royalties to Chuck Norris because "The Sum of All Fears" is the name of Chuck Norris' autobiography.

 

[Yoshi]

NBC is being sued by Chuck Norris for using the name "Law and Order" which is infact the name of Chucks right and left legs.

 

[ubertrance]

Science Fact: Roundhouse kicks are comprised primarily of an element called Chucktanium.

 

[Yoshi]

The reason why the universe is expanding, is to get away from Chuck Norris...

 

[Demon_Skeith]

Chuck Norris' favorite cereal is Kellogg's Nails 'N' Gravel.

 

[ubertrance]

It's widely believed that Jesus was Chuck Norris' stunt double for crucifixion due to the fact that it is impossible for nails to pierce Chuck Norris' skin.

 

[Yoshi]

When Chuck Norris snezes he doesnt say "Achoo" like everyone esle, he says "EVERYONE DIE" and thats what happens next

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris once sued Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr, insisting that that actually is "his" way.

 

[Demon_Skeith]

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

 

[ubertrance]

Some kids play Kick the can. Chuck Norris played Kick the keg.