Best Chuck Norris facts/Jokes

[Yoshi]

Just for future reference, France has given up to Chuck Norris

 

[Shadow Cypher]

Most kids pee their name in snow, Chuck Norris pees his name in concrete.

 

[GAMER_NOW]

Chuck Norris can run around the world and punch himself in the back of his head.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris once broke the back of a mans face...

 

[ubertrance]

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris

 

[Demon_Skeith]

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.

 

[GAMER_NOW]

In America, Chuck Norris kills you. In Soviet Russia...Chuck Norris still kills you.

 

[Yoshi]

The great wall of china was invented to keep Chuck Norris out... it failed... horably

 

[Shadow Cypher]

During an interview, a game company exec asked Chuck Norris "What sensitivity is your controller on, Chuck?"

He was promptly killed, not knowing to put "Chuck Norris" and "sensitivity" in the same sentence.

Wait.....

Oh, shi--*dies*

 

[Yoshi]

The reason why Chuck Norris's hair is getting grey is because it is slowly turning into steelwool

 

[ubertrance]

Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.

 

[Yoshi]

The officail last name of halo's master shief "John" is Norris, a direct desendent of Chuck Norris

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris is the reason why the dinosaurs are extinct

 

[ubertrance]

Everybody loves Raymond. Except Chuck Norris.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris's blood can eat glass, not even acid can do that,

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris fathered Mr. T

 

[Demon_Skeith]

Who let the dogs out? Chuck Norris let the dogs out... and then roundhouse kicked them through an Oldsmobile.