Best Chuck Norris facts/Jokes

[Yoshi]

Ray Combs of the Family Fued didn't commit suicide. Chuck Norris killed him and made it look like a suicide because Combs was giving him "the evil eye".

 

[Demon_Skeith]

The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris' age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

 

[ubertrance]

Coroners refer to dead people as "ABC's". Already Been Chucked.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris is a force of anture... like the wind and tacos

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris cant finish a color by numbers... because all of his markers are filled with blood, and all bood is red.

 

[ubertrance]

The 11th commandment is “Thou shalt not piss off Chuck Norrisâ€￾ This commandment is rarely enforced, as it is impossible to accomplish.

 

[Yoshi]

The reason the devil went down to gorgia, is because chuck norris went to hell...

 

[ubertrance]

Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo

 

[Yoshi]

The names at the end of "Walker, Texas Ranger" are not the people who created it, they where just the fatalities of the episode.

 

[ubertrance]

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but there was a problem-- It wouldn't take sh** from anybody.

 

[Yoshi]

Solid Snake is really Chuck Norris

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.

 

[Yoshi]

If you can see chuck norris, your dead, if you cant, you may only have seconds to live

 

[ubertrance]

After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"

 

[Yoshi]

When you hit someone, you knock them into last week.
When Chuck Norris hits you, You get knocked into 10 years ago.

 

[ubertrance]

When Arnold says the line "I'll be back" in the first Terminator movie it is implied that is he going to ask Chuck Norris for help.

 

[Yoshi]

Chuck Norris can turn any lesbo strait, and any guy gay.

 

[ubertrance]

Chuck Norris once participated in the running of the bulls. He walked.