Interracial Marriages?

[Kaynil]

Yeah.... I arrived ready to tackle the topic and then read 5 pages that sounded like some other topics here... Anyway, I guess I'll answer anyway. It might help being back on topic.

Interracial marriage is still a marriage. It requires effort and different cultures can be a challenge, a bigger challenge that can come at you at unexpected times. They key here is to be open and honest. Forget about a right position, it is just different points of view and it is important to want to understand where the other person is coming from... but really this is just with any relationship. It requires effort.

As I said to Sanaki somewhere else, true, if I was asked before I fell in love if I'd choose to date someone from another culture over mine, I'd probably choose mine. It is okay, it is normal you want some common ground and are afraid the differences are just too much. But at least for me, love hasn't been choosing from a  bunch it simply happened to be a great friendship that grew into something more, because we didn't really kept seeing each other as the Australian-Mexican, simply as two people in love and weren't planning this.

I married a person I met online in a Zelda forum, many people even online don''t understand how I could do this, but the truth is that we communicated by many means and got to know each other. We had our fights and adjustments and our locations and culture differences did presented themselves to us. They are unavoidable but it is not the culture differences what breaks a marriage it is the attitude of the people involved. My love and I have learned to work our differences and find in them things to strengthen our relationship. My family didn't take it easy our romance and tried to break us too late, they thought we weren't that serious given the distance until my crazy lover showed in Mexico. The hardest decision in my life has been abandoning my family, friends, culture and surroundings that defined me and saw me grow in favour of a life with the person I love.

I still in contact with my family, I do want to visit from time to time, and I'd lie if I said it is easy when you feel a minority where you live but I am not regretting it and i can say I am happy with my life. It has been worth it.

Maybe I shouldn't but I feel accomplished putting up the effort and commitment we did to make this relationship work, considering we lived in opposing ends of the world. We really know and love each other  deeply. We have keep it honest, not taking each other for granted and working together to be better.

 

[Naiwen]

Yeah.... I arrived ready to tackle the topic and then read 5 pages that sounded like some other topics here... Anyway, I guess I'll answer anyway. It might help being back on topic.
 
Interracial marriage is still a marriage. It requires effort and different cultures can be a challenge, a bigger challenge that can come at you at unexpected times. They key here is to be open and honest. Forget about a right position, it is just different points of view and it is important to want to understand where the other person is coming from... but really this is just with any relationship. It requires effort.
 
As I said to Sanaki somewhere else, true, if I was asked before I fell in love if I'd choose to date someone from another culture over mine, I'd probably choose mine. It is okay, it is normal you want some common ground and are afraid the differences are just too much. But at least for me, love hasn't been choosing from a  bunch it simply happened to be a great friendship that grew into something more, because we didn't really kept seeing each other as the Australian-Mexican, simply as two people in love and weren't planning this.
 
I married a person I met online in a Zelda forum, many people even online don''t understand how I could do this, but the truth is that we communicated by many means and got to know each other. We had our fights and adjustments and our locations and culture differences did presented themselves to us. They are unavoidable but it is not the culture differences what breaks a marriage it is the attitude of the people involved. My love and I have learned to work our differences and find in them things to strengthen our relationship. My family didn't take it easy our romance and tried to break us too late, they thought we weren't that serious given the distance until my crazy lover showed in Mexico. The hardest decision in my life has been abandoning my family, friends, culture and surroundings that defined me and saw me grow in favour of a life with the person I love.
 
I still in contact with my family, I do want to visit from time to time, and I'd lie if I said it is easy when you feel a minority where you live but I am not regretting it and i can say I am happy with my life. It has been worth it.
 
Maybe I shouldn't but I feel accomplished putting up the effort and commitment we did to make this relationship work, considering we lived in opposing ends of the world. We really know and love each other  deeply. We have keep it honest, not taking each other for granted and working together to be better.

Let's be honest here... my parents can't even understand why
a guy from another culture than Chinese would love me,
let alone want to marry. I mean, I wouldn't do what you did, Kaynil... it'd be very risky for me. No one (not even my friends would support me, I'd be alone in this kind of romance).

 

[Kaynil]

Let's be honest here... my parents can't even understand why a guy from another culture than Chinese would love me, let alone want to marry. I mean, I wouldn't do what you did, Kaynil... it'd be very risky for me. No one (not even my friends would support me, I'd be alone in this kind of romance).

That is okay, Sanaki. This is my path and it was not a light decision. It grew and acted as it happened. it has been no doubt the toughest decision of my life buying a one way ticket to a land I had never been on. 
 
 
I cannot pretend there are no differences between our cultures and minimize the effects of your decision, as far as I can recall for you it is important your parents approve of your lover and that would be almost impossible if your lover happens not to share the same eastern roots nor looks. It is a different mindset the extend of 'respect' we owe our parents in different areas of the globe. I won't shrug it like is not a big deal, it is a serious issue for you.
 
If you are to face that kind of situation, that would require you to then decide if your relationship is worth all the sacrifice it would mean. If so big is the love you two have you won't be alone if your partner loves you as much as to try to solve with you the obstacles like trying his best to gain your parents trust, melt down misconceptions, understanding where they come from and not pushing you to take a decision that would tear you apart and you likewise about her/his own cultural dilemmas. It is a dual effort trying to to find a way to make it work with the best outcome as possible.
 
You don't have to worry about doing something you don't want as this is all hypothetical and you sounds pretty close to let relationship grow to that point, so unless you let yourself and end up not you with a  crush or a guy with a crush but you both know each other and genuinely want to spend the rest of your lives together in marriage, this is easy: just don't risk it.  :thumbsup:

 

[Naiwen]

That is okay, Sanaki. This is my path and it was not a light decision. It grew and acted as it happened. it has been no doubt the toughest decision of my life buying a one way ticket to a land I had never been on. 
 
 
I cannot pretend there are no differences between our cultures and minimize the effects of your decision, as far as I can recall for you it is important your parents approve of your lover and that would be almost impossible if your lover happens not to share the same eastern roots nor looks. It is a different mindset the extend of 'respect' we owe our parents in different areas of the globe. I won't shrug it like is not a big deal, it is a serious issue for you.
 
If you are to face that kind of situation, that would require you to then decide if your relationship is worth all the sacrifice it would mean. If so big is the love you two have you won't be alone if your partner loves you as much as to try to solve with you the obstacles like trying his best to gain your parents trust, melt down misconceptions, understanding where they come from and not pushing you to take a decision that would tear you apart and you likewise about her/his own cultural dilemmas. It is a dual effort trying to to find a way to make it work with the best outcome as possible.
 
You don't have to worry about doing something you don't want as this is all hypothetical and you sounds pretty close to let relationship grow to that point, so unless you let yourself and end up not you with a  crush or a guy with a crush but you both know each other and genuinely want to spend the rest of your lives together in marriage, this is easy: just don't risk it.  :thumbsup:

I mean if someone from another truly loves me and etc
and can prove it to my parents and get their approval,
then sure. But parental approval is a must in an Asian girl's marriage.